Make your own free website on Tripod.com
 
« October 2017 »
S M T W T F S
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8 9 10 11 12 13 14
15 16 17 18 19 20 21
22 23 24 25 26 27 28
29 30 31
You are not logged in. Log in
Entries by Topic
All topics  «
NEWZ OF THE DAY

The DAILY BLAB!!
Monday, 7 January 2008
The Daily BLAB !!!
Mood:  incredulous
Now Playing: What Fresh Hell Is This?
Topic: NEWZ OF THE DAY

 

Hillary's Diary . . .

 

January 7th

 

Dear Diary:

 

I just found a bottle of maple syrup in the mini bar.

Five pounds in four days, ech!

 

Recurring nightmare - I am in a helicopter,

dropping hash-browns and sausage on refugee camps.

 

I think John Edwards wears "Canoe" cologne.

Every debate, I flash back to my prom night.

 

 


Posted by mickeyjay0 at 12:22 PM EST
Sunday, 6 January 2008
The Daily BLAB !!
Mood:  incredulous
Now Playing: What Fresh Hell is tis?
Topic: NEWZ OF THE DAY

 

 PUMP THE VOTE

Candidates are going after every possible independent BFF out there.

 

- Chelsea Clinton is studying for her Bat Mitzvah.

- Barak Obabma has hired Randy Jackson as a debate coach--Dawg!

- Mike Huckabee's campaign bus has a snowplow on the front bumper.

- Mitt Romney's five sons are giving Hustle lessons at the senior citizen center.

- John McCain is using his experience as a POW to act as a court appointed monitor for Britney Spears.

- Ron Paul is volunteering at a soup kitchen. His new campaign slogan is "Win One For The Dipper."


Posted by mickeyjay0 at 12:01 AM EST
Saturday, 5 January 2008
The Daily BLAB !!
Mood:  incredulous
Now Playing: What Fresh Hell Is This?
Topic: NEWZ OF THE DAY

Caucus . . .

From the ancient Greek meaning "Hey look! Free coffee and pastries!"

 

Hillary's diary, January 5th

Concord - Chels and I had a girls-night-out.

Hot maple syrup body wraps.

Much better than last week's corn meal exfoliation in Davenport.

 

Some titles that were turned down by publishers:

Mitch Albom's "Thursdays with Britney"

J.K. Rawlings' "Harry Potter and the Flaming Knickers"

Elmore Leonard's "3:10 to Newark"

Alice Walker's "The Specimen Jar Purple"

 

 

 


Posted by mickeyjay0 at 12:01 AM EST
Thursday, 3 January 2008
The Daily Blab !!
Mood:  incredulous
Now Playing: What Fresh Hell is this?
Topic: NEWZ OF THE DAY

Some abandoned foreclosed properties in exclusive neighborhoods have become hydroponic greenhouses for enterprising urban farmers.

 

How to tell if you are living next to Ward and June Stoner:

- instead of the usual brown, their delivery guy wears tie-dye;

- all the bees on your street fly upside-down;

- the meter reader takes three days to come back out of that basement;

- and Girl Scouts go to that house to buy cookies.


Posted by mickeyjay0 at 10:56 AM EST
Updated: Thursday, 3 January 2008 10:59 AM EST
Tuesday, 6 February 2007
The Daily BLAB !!
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: What fresh Hell is this?
Topic: NEWZ OF THE DAY

The Daily BLAB!! By Ellen Hildreth – February 6, 2007

= = = =



 

What fresh Hell is this?

This Valentine’s Day your sweetie may give you an exotic pet. 

A fish tattooed with “I (heart) U.” Or for biker chicks “Guppies suck and so do I.”

= = = =

A survey found that the recall of spinach last autumn has shaken confidence in green leafy vegetables.  Some people have not smoked weed in months.

= = = =

Hit sit-com in Canada – “Little Mosque on the Prairie.

Jedbar; Lukemir and Fatima Mae open the first Tim Horton’s with goat cheesecake.

= = = =

With wind chills, it felt like 10 to 30 below zero in the Northeast. 

Bum-sicle weather.

= = = =

The presidential budget:

It doesn’t look like Laura has been clipping those coupons.

= = = =

Uses for leftover Super Bowl snacks:

-         Chex Mix and epoxy make a lovely mosaic foyer floor;

-         Frozen cocktail franks become delightful wind chimes;

-         Guacamole and bean dip work just like expensive exfoliates.

= = = =

 

Truly, deeply, madly,

 

Ellen


Posted by mickeyjay0 at 11:01 AM EST
Wednesday, 31 January 2007
The Daily BLAB !!
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: What fresh Hell is this?
Topic: NEWZ OF THE DAY
The Daily Blab -- January 31, 2007

By Ellen Hildreth

(said to be the most dangerous woman in Detroit)

 

What fresh Hell is this?

 

The nation’s largest doughnut chain, Dunkin’ Donuts Inc. will add 60 new outlets in Metro Detroit within five years.  There will be one on every corner not occupied by a Starbucks.

 

Since the three former officials of a Dearborn company accused of causing a major oil spill in the Detroit and Rouge rivers in 2002 currently live in Pleasant Ridge, Carlsbad California and Brownstown Township; maybe any sentence should involve an extended tour of the Detroit sewer system.

 

In San Juan, Puerto Rico, the world’s oldest man died.  So Mort Crim and Bill Bonds have moved closer to the title.

 

At a middle school in Troy, 6th grade boys are being encouraged to read more books like “Dinosaurs Destroy Detroit.”  That is the story of the big three automakers.

 

This season’s “American Idol”—how bad is it?

In 40 years none of these people will be singing in Happy’s Pizza commercials.

 

Ford Motor Co. lost $12.7 billion in 2006 and it will cost them $17 billion to “realize their business plan.”

Who is doing their accounting, Paris Hilton?

 

Slip Sliding Away

Metro Detroiters were dealing with their first serious snow and ice of the season as usual—speeding up; braking; cussing.

 

Premièring February 16th on HDNET:

Dennis Rodman’s “GEEK TO FREAK.”  He will be transforming ordinary people into Pitiful lonely has-beens like him.

“Pack your Haldol and go home.”

 

A Detroit man is facing up to 30 years in prison for trying to steal a female mannequin.  What?  Was “she” full of heroin?

 

Detroit Career Kicker

        -      Training starts whenever you show up.  Entry Level, earn while you learn.

               Email: anybody@DetroitSchoolBoardSuper.edu

 

-          No computer skills?  No driver’s license? No teeth?

       We want you.

       Grunt ‘n Scratch Security Guards

 

       -      Receptionist . . .

              Clip and Crunch

              Styling Salon and purveyor of Detroit’s best kettle pop corn.  

              (Must be able to multi-task)

 

Obituary . . .

Kentucky Derby winner Barbaro 4 years.

Condolences may be sent to all those little mares that won’t be getting his stud service.

 

Woodland Hills Park in Farmington Hills, Michigan has banned running.

Officials say it is a “Passive Park” designed for activities such as bird watching

Any squirrel caught scampering can be shot on sight.

 

Social Calendar. . .  

An official celebration in the Orange Bowl is in the planning stages to mark the anticipated death of Cuban President Fidel Castro.  Miami artists are busy working on the floats for the Dead Dictators Parade.

 

Truly, deeply, madly,

Ellen

 

= = = =



Posted by mickeyjay0 at 5:02 PM EST
Saturday, 27 January 2007
The Daily BLAB !! By Ellen Hildreth
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: What fresh Hell is this?
Topic: NEWZ OF THE DAY

The Daily BLAB!! By Ellen Hildreth – January 27, 2007

= = = =

What fresh Hell is this?

The nation’s largest doughnut chain, Dunkin’ Donuts Inc. will add 60 new outlets in Metro Detroit within five years.  There will be one on every corner not occupied by a Starbucks.

 
Since the three former officials of a
Dearborn company accused of causing a major oil spill in the Detroit and Rouge Rivers in 2002 currently live in Pleasant Ridge, Carlsbad California and Brownstown Township; maybe any sentence should involve an extended tour of the Detroit sewer system.

 
In
San Juan, Puerto Rico, the world’s oldest man died.  So Mort Crim and Bill Bonds have moved closer to the title.

 
At a middle school in
Troy, 6th grade boys are being encouraged to read more books like “Dinosaurs Destroy Detroit.”  That is the story of the big three automakers.

 
This season’s “American Idol”—how bad is it?
In 40 years none of these people will be singing in Happy’s Pizza commercials.

 

Ford Motor Co. lost $12.7 billion in 2006 and it will cost them $17 billion to “realize their business plan.” Who is doing their accounting, Paris Hilton?

 
Slip Sliding Away -- Metro Detroiters were dealing with their first serious snow and ice of the season as usual—speeding up; braking; cussing.

Premièring February 16th on HDNET:  Dennis Rodman’s “GEEK TO FREAK.”  He will be transforming ordinary people into Pitiful lonely has-beens like him. “Pack your Haldol and go home.”

 A Detroit man is facing up to 30 years in prison for trying to steal a female mannequin.  What?  Was “she” full of heroin?

 Truly, deeply, madly,

 Ellen


Posted by mickeyjay0 at 4:59 PM EST
Saturday, 13 January 2007
The Daily BLAB !!
Mood:  cool
Now Playing: What fresh Hell is this?
Topic: NEWZ OF THE DAY

The Daily Blab  By Ellen Hildreth  January 13, 2007

What fresh Hell is this?

Overnight Neilson ratings: Tony Soprano whacked George W. Bush

 = =

Kohl and Target stores have stopped selling board games that encourage players to drink alcohol.  However Keg Pong and Shots and Ladders is still available at Linens-N-Things.  Coming soon, Randy Land and STD Bingo.

 = =

The annual Mr. Blackwell worst-dressed list: Paris Hilton and Britney Spears tied for number one. What day of the year were they dressed?

= =

The new Apple Inc. iPhone . . . For 500 bucks, I want a capital i

 

= = 

President Jajuddin Ahmed quit as leader of Bangladesh.  He hitched the U-Haul to Ox Force One and split the scene.

 = =

The 2008 Democratic National Convention will be held in Denver Colorado; if the airport runways are plowed by then.

 = = = =

Truly, deeply, madly,

Ellen


Posted by mickeyjay0 at 3:23 PM EST
Monday, 8 January 2007
The Daily BLAB !!
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: What fresh Hell is this?
Topic: NEWZ OF THE DAY

The Daily Blab !! -- By Ellen Hildreth --  January 8. 2007

What fresh Hell is this?

Pfizer Inc.'s SLENTROL, the first weight loss drug for dogs.  Fat cats just have to lose by investing in the chain of Rosie O'Donnell Charm Schools.

= = = =

America's favorite color is blue.  Unless it's all puffy and under Whitney Houston's eye.

= = = =

In Fayetteville Georgia, a 1,100 pound wild hog was killed.  They spiral sliced that sucker with a chain saw.

= = = =

Truly, deeply, madly,

Ellen 


 


Posted by mickeyjay0 at 12:13 PM EST
Friday, 29 December 2006
The Daily BLAB !!
Mood:  cheeky
Now Playing: What fresh Hell is this?
Topic: NEWZ OF THE DAY

The Daily BLAB!! By Ellen Hildreth – December 29, 2006

= = = =

 


What fresh Hell is this?

 

California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, 59, broke his leg in a skiing accident.  He was on the “bunny slope” and her ears fell off.

 

= = = =

 

Former Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein is going to be hanged.  Ticket sales are expected to top Madonna’s “Bad in Baghdad” concert.

 

= = = =

 

And so we bid farewell to the godfather of soul, Gerald R. Ford.

 

= = = =

 

Truly, deeply, madly,

 

Ellen


Posted by mickeyjay0 at 3:51 PM EST

Newer | Latest | Older